Top 5 characteristics of a FUNAABITE
A funaabite ( student of the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta like any member of an institution, usually posses characteristics that are in one way or the other, peculiar to every student like him/her. 99.9% of every Funaabite that goes through this article exhibit at least three out of these five traits;
1. Whining : One would wonder if as soon as the Senate award a new student admission into the university and they pass through that gate, the lords in control of the spirit of 'whining' let loose their 'blessings' on him/her. Every Funaabite will whine even when it's tremendously clear and uncalled for. If you've ever had 10/30 in a test score and a colleague of yours with twice your score still chants 'your head is there o' 'Na you o!' 'Guy, you be boss o', 'After you is you is you before you is you', 'I want to be like you when I grow up', then you'd get my drift.
2. Shunting : There is nowhere funaabite don't carry out this action, even to the point where they purchase food. Most likely, this trait is as a result of the long queues found everywhere that's anywhere within the school vicinity. Shunting has even led to serious fights that have consequently led some students out of the university. Shunting however has it that fun innit, it's helps us sharpen our deductive skills, you wouldn't just shunt in front of anyone without al reading predicting their reactions.
3. Night Class Hype: Four out of every five funaabite only attend night class religiously starting from the exam free week over to the weeks of examination. This is not to say funaabites don't got for night classes without examination pressure, hence the remaining 'one out of every five funaabites a.k.a "most read"). It is generally believed that if exams/tests are not breathing their fiery flames down a funaabite's neck, there is little or no need to go for night classes.
4. Success Prayer: Every individual say a prayer at least once in a particular period of their lives but three out of every five funaabites only ever attend a religious gathering once exams are around the corner. As always l, students enter that God fearing/ religious default mood when they are bracing for the meeting with their bogeyman ; Examinations!
5. Exams/Tests/Classes Cancellation Syndrome: You guess right, most, if not all funaabite get the immediate relief when exams/tests/classes are canceled due to circumstances the lecturers in charge cannot avoid. This is even better when they get to go home die to the cancellation. However, this does not mean that funaabites are absolutely lazy bit when you've walked from one end of the school to another under that hot, blazing, brain-melting sun; a chilled bottle of drink and news of exams/tests/ classes cancellation is all you need.
Editor-in-chief,
FUNAAB OLOFOFO,
Aisha Yusuff.
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